Worry - Kick The Habit !
"Worry is like a rocking chair, it give you something to do but goes nowhere". - Old Proverb
Some dictionary definitions state:
Worry - to give way to anxiety or unease.
To allow one’s mind to dwell on difficulty or troubles.
Worried - anxious, disturbed, uneasy, troubled in the mind.
A thing that causes anxiety or disturbs a persons tranquility.
Worry Oneself – Take needless trouble.
Worrier – A person who habitually worries unduly.
I had often felt like writing a book telling people not to fret.
It would be titled imaginatively, Don’t Worry! – written by a former worrier for worriers the world over.
It would have had humorous pictures and lots of vignettes or short anecdotal stories.
For some people being anxious is a way of life.
Wherever you are you will find worriers, since there seems so much to fret about
– Stress, money, bills, work, the boss, the job, romance, relationships, family, marriage, divorce, what people think.....In fact, the list could be endless.
Being uneasy is a subject I felt I was an authority on having spent a good deal of my life being anxious about things.
Thus I believed I was a qualified fretter with a masters degree from the school of life.
I knew what I was talking about! - or did I?.
Someone once said, ’Worry is like a rocking chair – it gives you something to do but goes nowhere’.
That was good advice.
Rather than always seeing the glass as half empty why not flip that thought over and see it as half full!.
The opposites of worry are words like carefree, calm and unconcerned.
Now that sounded good but how do I get to that thinking?.
I realised I had to begin altering my perception or how I viewed things.
You can make a mistake and the world doesn’t come to an end.
We can be quite hard on ourselves sometimes.
Flaws we may forgive in others can seem magnified in ourselves.
When you stop fretting and start doing things suddenly it will all comes easier.
After all we won’t live any longer by worrying.
And all the process of fretting does is to generate more worries since those are the thoughts we are thinking....an endless cycle like the hamster on the wheel, spinning it around and around.
Time to get off that wheel I thought to myself.
Fretting won’t solve problems, only actions can do that.
It is said that a man (or woman), posessed of a serene mind is the happiest of all Gods creations.
Over time I firmly believed this and began to strive toward achieving that serene mind.
I knew it would be a one step at a time process and that there was no magic wand to wave these negative thoughts away.
If there was a magic wand, it was the method of replacing negative thoughts with positive ones....
and to check myself - if I found myself slipping back into the black.
I don’t mind being that hamster, but the wheel I decided to start spinning was one of happiness, starting in me and radiating out toward other people.
I soon started seeing a shift in their attitude and behaviour toward me.
That proved the exercise was working and most of all was worth pursuing.
Thankfully, the glass is less empty these days and is more full as a result.
Nonetheless, we have to beware, as the Media from newspapers to T.V news tend to sensationalise negative stories and since we follow the news we are subconsciously absorbing this negativity.
When is the last time you saw the lead story in the news being happy one?.
Good news stories are called in many places, ’Shaggy Dog Stories’ and are normally placed at the end of the news.
Thus the positive, only comes after the negative, when really it should be the other way around.
Michael Bermingham - 13/01/09
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